Don't Feed the Animals

Top four things to treasure about that 6:00AM weekend morning wake-up
June 29, 2009, 5:27 pm
Filed under: Small Pleasures | Tags:

1. If you begin to feel cranky at any point during the day, you’ll know why. You won’t need to devote precious mental energy to unravelling the mystery of your emotions. Time saver.

2. One of you will have a whole extra hour or two to make everyone else’s ears bleed by trotting out all of the  Michael Jackson trivia that your companions may have forgotten since the night before. Also plenty of time to demonstrate your Moon Walk. Again. And again. And yet again. Now you’re ready to perform at next year’s Super Bowl. Sit down and wait for your invitation. No really, sit down. Stop talking.

3. You have time to eat breakfast, second breakfast, brunch and lunch before noon. All of these meals can legitimately include heavily frosted cinnamon rolls and caffeinated beverages.

4. 8:30AM feels like noon, but is not noon. There is no one—no one—at the yacht club. You can pick the shiniest of all 150 canoes. Even after spending what feels like hours fishing seaweed out of the lake with your plastic fishing pole, you still have nearly a whole day smacking you in the face stretching out ahead of you.



One from the archives
June 25, 2009, 5:26 pm
Filed under: Gage | Tags:

Baby’s first self-portrait:

baby's first self-portrait

iPhoto tells me this was taken on February 14, 2008. I guess we were spending our Valentine’s Day in the bathroom, documenting the endless potty-training process. Pretty sure I didn’t capture “Baby’s First Poop in the Potty” that day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Or for hundreds of days after that. So glad we’ve preserved these memories for history. Also glad Gage took over this particular photo-shoot and clicked the shutter on this one.

And still I whine: sinus infection edition
June 24, 2009, 5:26 pm
Filed under: I am awesome | Tags: , , ,

My problems are not problems. I know this. 

Feeling fluish while my parents have Gage? At least my parents have Gage—I should be grateful that I don’t have to take care of him while I’m sick. Have to cancel some of my plans for the week? Let’s face it, none of my plans are all that pressing. Not able to run around town making photographs? Not able to go out to dinner with S? Not able to enjoy happy hour with friends? Not able to organize my closets to the nth degree? Boo-hoo.

Send S to the store for ibuprofen and OJ and he comes back with the 24-count bottle of ibuprofen? Better than the time I sent him to the store for Tylenol (this was after I had my tonsils out) and he came back with some sort of travel packet containing exactly six (6!) Tylenol. Be grateful he is such a good sport about going to the store. Be grateful for the comic relief provided by whatever he comes back with.

Sure, it’s mildly annoying that my ongoing sinus issues are making me sick every four to six weeks. It’s mildly annoying that every time I get a sinus infection, I have to wait a week or so for it to get into full bloom before going to the doctor for drugs. It’s mildly annoying that my daily neti pot + Flonase regimen doesn’t appear to be reducing the rate at which my sinuses get infected. But I will get to the bottom of my sinus issues eventually, whether this means more allergy medication or surgery or whatever.

None of my difficulties are particularly difficult. My problems are small. I am fully aware of this. You’d think this knowledge would keep me from throwing myself a pity party, but unfortunately you’d be wrong. I am creative enough with the despair that I’m able to to throw myself a pity party because I’m not technically qualified for said pity party. Understanding the trivial nature of my difficulties only makes me feel sort of generally trivial, which in turn—in a feat of geometrical genius—allows me to feel sorry for myself not despite the smallness, but because of the smallness.

It’s ridiculous. I’m ridiculous. And now that I’ve written that out, let’s hope I’m able to move on.

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Sick Day
June 23, 2009, 6:47 pm
Filed under: fail, I like it | Tags: ,

Am sick. (For those of you keeping track: yes, again.) Some sort of throat infection. Flashlight has confirmed that situation in my mouth is not pretty. Feel feverish. Feel nauseated. Feel like whining to Scott, whining to the internet, then drinking half a bottle of Nyquil and slithering into bed to wait for death.

Do not feel like posting about A) some of my recent wardrobe disasters or B) the fine art of closet organizing, as I had planned.

Instead, enjoy Pudding and Paper Bag Princess. She takes her clothing very seriously. And she is hilarious. I especially recommend the J. Crew Math posts.

June 22, 2009, 7:48 pm
Filed under: Home and garden, housewife diary, Small Pleasures

Stealing this from Ali Edwards (I have a fraught relationship with the “scrapbooking” concept, but I love Ali’s documentation of her family life and her design sense):

Outside my window…Cool, gray weather. Looks like it rained last night. If the sun doesn’t burn its way through the clouds this afternoon, I may not have to go through my 30-minute yard-and-garden watering routine before dinner. Fingers crossed.

I am thankful for…Gage’s vacation at my parents’ house this week. LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD.

From the kitchen…Several cups of strong coffee this morning. Refrigerator is in serious need of re-stocking. S went to the store while I was away this weekend (dropping G off with my parents) and came back with…a six pack of fancy bottled rootbeer, a large container of tomato soup, and about $40 worth of different kinds of cookies.

I am wearing…Grey tank top, raspberry colored sweater I just pulled out of a jumbled pile of stuff in my closet (stuff I completely forgot I had), my favorite pair of jeans ever, ever, which are disintegrating as we speak.


I am creating…An organized closet. 

I am going...To try not to eat three dozen cookies today.

I am readingAyelet Waldman’s Bad Mother. Every word ever written on the internet (my favorite stall.)

I am hoping…For some sunnier weather later this week.

I am hearing…Cat purring while sitting next to my keyboard. 

Around the house…Scott’s working downstairs. I’m working upstairs. We’re communicating via email. Cat’s following me from room to room, trying to sit on my hands.

One of my favorite things…My Holga.

A few plans for the rest of the week…Organize all my closets (yeah, thrilling). Dispose of two large boxes of high school journals that I finally retrieved from my parents’ house. See a couple of friends. Sleep late. Go to the movies. Research photography classes. Get out and take some photos if the weather allows. Write a few articles that my sister conned me into taking on.

A picture to share…Favorite jeans:

outfit 2

June 20, 2009, 2:46 pm
Filed under: housewife diary | Tags:

My neighbor and his truck. My neighbor standing beside his truck. My neighbor slowly polishing the hood of his truck. Getting in his truck. Getting back out of his truck. Opening the hood of his truck. Closing the hood of his truck. Leaning on his truck. Getting in his truck and going somewhere for five minutes. Getting back out of his truck.  This is his entire day, during the days he’s not at work. The truck is in good condition and appears to be running perfectly. When will a new hobby emerge?

Mr. Truck’s family hanging out in their driveway. Just hanging out in the driveway. Not in their fenced yard, but out in the gravel and weeds. The little girl sitting by the street, scooping up rocks then letting them drop. The mother opening her car door as if she intends to go somewhere, but then not going anywhere after all. Hanging into the car. Hanging out of the car. Saying something to Mr. Truck. 

This family watching me closely while I pull weeds along the street. Really, neighbors, I understand that my backside is just fascinating. Also this act of cleaning up the street side—I know! Crazy! Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to reciprocate by addressing the Wild-West-style prairie you’ve got going over on your side of the road. I know you’ve got a lot of truck to polish. A lot of driveway to stand around in. But if you could just give me a minute to do what I have to do here without following my every move with your eyes, I’d appreciate it.

“Restricted” phone number calling my cell phone 3-5 times per day, ringing twice, then hanging up. Or, if I pick up, giving me nothing but silence. Will this ever end.

The cat and his scratchy thing. If I put the scratchy thing in the living room with the furniture he so loves to rip into, he ignores the scratchy thing and continues to show the furniture who’s boss. But if I give up and toss the scratchy thing under my desk, in my office at the opposite end of the house, he suddenly develops a white hot burning passion for the scratchy thing and completely ignores the furniture. This makes no sense, Cat. Except, you’re a cat, and therefore not making sense actually does make a certain sort of sense for you. I see where you’re going with this.

Gage and his teeth. His teeth that he sunk into his friend’s arm at school this week. Really, Gage, at age nearly-four you’re going to take up biting? I can’t escape the preschool years having never been the parent of The Biter? The Hitter, yes. The Scratcher, yes. The Kid Who Can’t Settle Down, OK. But do I actually have to circle every possible ring of Misbehavior Hell with you? I thought so. Just thought I’d plead for mercy check.

Entrepreneur Magazine, showing up in my mailbox with my name on the cover. I can’t imagine how I would have even inadvertently signed up for Entrepreneur Magazine. If Entrepreneur Magazine and I were a venn diagram, our circles would not overlap. They would not touch. They would not comfortably reside within the same chart. I’ll admit, though, Entrepreneur Magazine, that there is a certain energy in your pages that I don’t find unexciting. Likely because of all the distance between us. Just so you know, I never intend to actually close that gap. But if you want to keep inexplicably showing up, I’ll always be inexplicably sort of glad to see you.

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June 18, 2009, 4:40 pm
Filed under: Home and garden, Photography | Tags: ,


I’m sure you’re all as interested as I am in the fact that the peonies in my front yard are finally blooming, aren’t you? I’m sure that’s why I took 237 pictures of them and then spent a couple of hours over-processing those pictures in Photoshop, right? For you. And for the people driving up my street who enjoy honking at me while I’m crouched awkwardly in my yard with the camera. I am so giving.