Don't Feed the Animals


Point and Shoot
April 27, 2010, 3:27 am
Filed under: Gage

Happy birthday, Mother. 

TAKE A PICTURE OF THAT FLOWER! TAKE A PICTURE OF THAT FLOWER! TAKE A PICURE OF THAT FLOWER!

FINALLY. Now I can eat my sandwich. Although, actually, I’m not sure how I feel about this sandwich. Usually I love this sandwich, but today it’s YOUR BIRTHDAY so I’ll have to think about it. Slowly. While you wait for your cake.

Let’s let Daddy take a picture of us. Because he is so good at it. Dad! Dad! Look at me! I’m cramming a sandwich in my mouth! Let’s take the opportunity to cut Mother’s face in half! This is how she wants to remember us.

It’s not your birthday anymore, I CAN SMILE AGAIN.

I walked three steps by myself. My ear hurts. I’m dying. Take a picture of me dying. Now put the camera down and pick me up.

Or else I’ll have to show you my camera face.

Or this camera face.

Or this camera face.

Or lie on an altar and beg you to set me on fire.

Mom? Mom? Mom. Mom! Watch me! I’m about to fly like a bird. Like the bird whose poop I just touched!

What’s that you say?

Slow down? I’m going to hurt myself on these stairs? OH HA HA HA.

No.

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Happy Birthday to Me
April 26, 2010, 11:12 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

So I turned 33 yesterday. I celebrated by creating this work of art in PhotoBooth:

Gage celebrated by waking me up three times between 1:00 and 5:00 AM because he had 1) Broken a transformer, 2) Lost a transformer, 3) Lost the same transformer a second time. I’m loathe to confiscate toys in the wee hours of the morning because it tends to result in the kind of screaming that leads to no one getting any further sleep, but at 5:00, yeah, I stripped his room of every available plaything and told him to LIE STILL UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE if he ever wanted to see them again.

When we got up for the day, he was all, “I’m sorry I said ‘I hate you’ three thousand times in my room last night after you shut the door. Actually, I love you.”

And I was all, “Then maybe you should wish me happy birthday.”

And he was all, “…”

Which, sadly, pretty much set the tone for our day together.

Let’s hope the rest of the year doesn’t follow suit.

I’m thinking things can only get better.

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