Don't Feed the Animals

May 26, 2010, 5:49 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

The weather was schizophrenic. Dark and stormy, light and sunny, heavy clouds with blinding sun breaks, white clouds high in the sky, etc. Everything changing quickly, without warning. NOT UNLIKE OUR MOODS.

But then we found our bubbles.

Which were pretty.

And our coffee. Which was also lovely.

And then we found an Optimus Prime mask at a yard sale. It cost $1.00. We had $1.00! So lucky!

I think it goes without saying that we are ready to save the world.


This morning
May 21, 2010, 5:33 pm
Filed under: Gage

Gage woke up with the urge to play his guitar. With Scott accompanying him. Also with the radio blaring in the background.

Thus our house sounded more or less like a slaughterhouse. A very LOUD slaughterhouse.

Complete with loudly bleating animals.

So I made them stop, and then Gage used his remaining free time to color his leg with an orange crayon. The end.

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Mother’s Day, You’re on My List (and I Think You Know Which List I Mean)
May 9, 2010, 6:09 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,

What Mother’s Day means to me:

1) A disproportionate number of dads and kids at the grocery store this morning, elevating the usual Sunday morning chaos from a Category 2 to a Category 10. Abandoned shopping carts, impassable aisles, crying. A lot of crying. Not all of it coming from the children. (I would have avoided the whole mess, but I received a “snack list” from the Gage’s school on Friday along with the request that I bring said snacks in on Monday. Just to add some extra teeth-gritting to the weekend festivities.)

2) A Mother’s Day celebration at the school in the middle of a work day. Guilt over the amount of teeth gritting this caused me. A gift in the form of a massive craft project that I have to either keep or throw away. Irritation. Guilt over wanting to throw it away.

3) The gift of a rhododendron from the boys in my life. Funny story: when we moved into our house I removed half a dozen rhododendrons from the property, partly because they were oddly placed (my theory at the time was that they were ill-considered Mother’s Day gifts—thanks Scott and Gage for proving me right), and partly because, in my humble opinion, rhododendrons belong in 1974.

Yeah, as far as I’m concerned WE CAN SKIP IT.

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May 8, 2010, 8:59 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

We went to Spokane last weekend to visit with my sister-in-law and her family (Hi, Angie!) and to participate in Bloomsday.

I say “participate” because although technically it’s a “race” we were pushing a stroller and therefore weren’t allowed to run, which was convenient given that our pre-race “training program” consisted mainly of walking the ten blocks from our house to the nearest 7-11 for a Slurpee a couple of times during the month of April.

I think. Anyway. It wasn’t a huge surprise when the dude who walked the whole 7.5 miles in a gorilla suit finished ahead of us, is what I’m saying.

In fact, the race winners were crossing the finish line just as our group (the RED group, naturally) was making its way to the start. An announcer gave us this news apologetically, consoling us with the thought that we could “still have a good day.” Meanwhile, the kid in the stroller next to ours emptied the crumbs from a bag of frosted animal cookies directly into his mouth. Yeah. Clearly we were in it to win it.

Hey, look! A building! Let me take a picture of that while I wait for the people ahead of me to shuffle up to the starting line! Because if there’s one thing we know about athletic success it’s that you’ve got to maintain your FOCUS.

Now let me give the camera to Gage, so he can document his point of view.


Sadly, I didn’t take any pictures during the actual RACE part of the race, as we were busy being crushed by roughly 40,000 of the event’s 50,000 participants, 25,000 of whom were attempting to jump under our stroller’s front tire at any given moment. Seriously, people. If you’re going to dart RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME while we’re part of a human tidal wave rolling down a narrow street, I think you know what you can do with your stink eye in the event of a collision.


And here we are crossing the finish line.

We were high-fiving each other on our not-last-place finish right up until we were checking the race results on the Bloomsday website and realized that there were substantial cash prizes for top finishers, including a $7,000 award for first place. IF ONLY WE HAD KNOWN.

We totally would have stopped making upside-down self-portraits in order to train more seriously.

That’s right, Kenya. Next year, you better watch out.

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